“I’m going out,” he tells his daughter. She lounges by the pool, sunbathing. Bikini. Glistening oil. Ice cubes clinking.
“Fine,” she says. “Have fun.”
They get along. His daughter visits, and he can see her muscles relax. It’s no wonder. Alice never was a soothing presence. She would grate anybody. She is not an easy woman to be with. His daughter on the other hand—she has simple needs. Very laissez-faire.
He drives to the library. He still feels a sense of guilt. Why? He doesn’t know. There’s nothing wrong with magazines. He goes to the periodical section, and finds his favorites: People, Us, Entertainment Weekly, Vanity Fair, Cosmo. He looks at the celebrities, the ones in skimpy dresses, bikinis. Breasts. Legs. Hair. Exposed backs and necks. There is nothing wrong with this. If there was, why are the magazines in the library? If there was, why do magazines fill their pages with these pictures? He even likes the smell of perfume samples that emanate from these magazines. He can hardly think of the word library without becoming aroused.
Walking to the bathroom, he takes a long drink from the fountain. He has to work tomorrow. Another year. Another year. Wise investments pay off, he thinks. Sink or swim. He catches a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the fountain. A dot of spittle is in the corner of his mouth. He wipes it away with the back of his hand, and walks quickly back to the periodicals. His shoes thrum loudly against the industrial carpeting.
After half an hour he is done. He will take her out to dinner. Wherever she wants, he thinks. She can order dessert. Appetizer. A beer if they don't I.D. Rent a movie afterwards. A cartoon or Disney movie. Something from the family section.
Nathan Leslie has published two collections of short fiction, most recently A Cold Glass of Milk (Uccelli Press, 2003). Uccelli Press will publish his next collection of fiction, Drivers, in the summer of 2005, and Ravenna Press will publish his collection of flash fiction, Reverse Negative, also in 2005. Aside from being nominated for the 2002 Pushcart Prize, Nathan's fiction and poetry has or will appear in over one hundred literary magazines including Southern Indiana Review, Fiction International, Baltimore Review, Chiron Review, Gulf Stream, and Story South. He completed his MFA at the University of Maryland four years ago, where he won the 2000 Katherine Anne Porter Fiction Prize. Nathan is currently the fiction editor at The Pedestal Magazine.